2011

2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast.

It's the year your so called friend walks out of your life and it's the year you realised who the real ones are.

It's the year you felt the most pressure to the point where you gave up so many times but you're still learning how to get back up.

It's the year you said you were going to accomplish great things yet you feel like you just wasted time.

It's the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times.

It's the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing the people in them.

But it's also the year you move on slowly, and you realised that, it is okay.

if, & only if...

If I could tell you how I really felt, the world would be off of my shoulders.

If I could live all my days without the reminders, all my smiles would be real.

If I didn’t have to worry about the future instead of what is going on today,

I would probably be able to breathe.

Black is Back with Arthur’s Day 2011

Arthur Guinness, the man behind the one of the most successful beer brands worldwide.

Guinness is brewed in almost 50 countries and sells 1.8 billion pints yearly.

Guinness is probably the best damn drink invented for human kind!

To honor this great man, we will be celebrating Arthur’s Day this 23rd September!

Come on and join all of us on this worldwide celebration with Arthur’s Day!

It’s going to be the party of the YEAR!

TAIO CRUZ is performing the night itself, bringing us hits like ‘Break Your Heart’, ‘Dynamite’ & ‘Higher’.

Not only are we seeing Taio Cruz performing, they will also be featuring the local music act!

Prema Yin, Naked Breed, Rosevelt, Dragon Red, Jin Hackman (ft. CSBTEA) & James Baum will stand a chance to perform on the same stage as Taio Cruz, too.

The Malaysia’s Top 2 favourites will be chosen based on the votes online & on ground at various performance venue! So vote now for your favourite to open for Arthur’s Day. Vote HERE now!

Details of Arthur’s Day are as below,

Date: 23 September 2011 (Friday)

Time: 6 pm onwards

Venue: Speed City KL, Selangor Turf Club

(Location)

I'm so excited to see Taio Cruz perform in front of my eye!

Besides, this party is going to be an experience money never buy!

Be a part of this celebration, win yourself passes from Guinness Malaysia or Nuffnang!

Those passes are so exclusive you can only win them!

So people, start winning passes & I’ll see all of you there!

TO ARTHUR!!

farewell to you ♥

It's been a while since I actually wrote something like this, I don't remember writing any farewell note for anyone on my blog. Here's to you, Regina Tan, the girl I can always run to whenever there's any shit going on, she'll be the calmest and always trying to assure me things will be just fine.

I know Pahang is not far from Penang, and it's only an hour ride from KL but the fact that you are leaving away from this island to somewhere else to study, makes me feel like as though we are all growing up, leaving, one by one. That feeling makes me just want to stay young forever. I'm sure you are eager to start your uni life after the 9 months break.

Remember how we met? We used to be good friends in Standard 3 and then this "funny" dream I had of us kinda drifted us apart. Funny how after a year, we end up still being best friends. Fate, I guess. Having you as my (best) friend have always been an accomplishment to me. Twelve years, it's definitely an accomplishment to me, knowing me, I get tired/sick of people/things easily and after 12 damn years we are still as close as ever, I really thank God for that.

I know I wrote this on the card but thank you for being the great friend you are, I'm proud to be your friend. Thank you for always standing by me, especially through all the tantrums I've thrown to get things the way I want. Thank you for always making time for me even when you already have plans and fetching me, all the time. Thank you too for driving back my car after the accident, I'm sorry I haven't drove you out after that, I promise I will drive you next time ok? That's my promise to you! Anywhere you want, anytime (after 2012 that is) LOL!

Gina, take care there! Don't feel sad or lonely (though it might be unavoidable for the first few days), you have your iPad with you, look at all the funny pictures inside whenever you're down alright? Remember you'll always have us, always.

Wishing you all the best for the start of your uni life!

Will miss you.

xx ♥

one of the worst feeling

I’ve always hated being left behind.

Whether or not any spoken form of goodbye is uttered, whether or not it’s for the best, whether or not I know the person’s bound to come back soon, being left behind always makes me feel like my heart’s getting wrenched out of my chest.

No matter how many times I’m reassured about how the goodbyes are for my own good, I just can’t stop the tears from coming and I end up wishing I never even met those people to begin with. I curse and I scream, I push the person away then beg that person to stay. I spend each damn day and night trying to keep myself afloat, and trying to drown out that hollow feeling that just makes me feel like crap. Funny how everything that made sense can fall apart with one person’s goodbye.

People come and go, that is very much true.

I should probably be used to it by now.

But I’m not & I probably never will be.

Heck, I know I sound like an emotionally unstable kid right now but this is me.

happy birthday ♥

Happy 20th Birthday girl :)

This is specially dedicated to you, my closest most annoying and noisy best friend. Funny how we became close, seriously, 11 years down the road and we're still as close (or even closer). We've been through quite a lot, all the dramas and shits, glad we made it through. I was reading back the post I wrote for you 3 years ago, and I laughed, you're STILL annoying me with your whys and what ifs.

Anyway, thank you for always being there, staying online till late night just to make me feel better, driving all the way to my house though you are kinda road blind and annoying my soul to make me laugh.

I love you! Don't ever forget that & I hope you had a great birthday.

be really proud 'cause honestly, I barely do this nowadays.

♥

strangers, again

I'm lying to myself. I give myself false hope and false expectations that never match up to reality. I twist circumstances around in my mind to make them seem better than they actually are. I think too much about the smallest, most insignificant gestures and blow them up like balloons and float around in this euphoric bubble of what could be and what I want to happen, and am always so let down by what I'm left with, an almost, could-be, maybe situation. I think too much into a smile and catching someone's eye from across the room. I think too much into an accidental hand brushing and prolonged eye contact. I tell myself that it can still happen, and I cling to the tiniest litter glimmers of hope, even though I know that there's a little itch I can't scratch that tells me that I'm wrong and that I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, where happy endings do exist, and the boy and the girl always do end up together. I'm tricking myself into thinking that we're perfect for each other when in reality, we may as well be strangers.

I Can't Remember...

I am trying to remember

Remember what makes me happy

I have forgotten how to be.

This is making my brain hurt

You're not supposed to forget how to feel the best feeling in the world.

You are supposed to be able to forget stupid, sad feelings.

I am going through thousands and millions of memories.

Running them through in my head.

I can't.... remember

Uncertainty

You know what your problem is?

You get attached, fast & once you're attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It's never been about what you want, it's always everyone's needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you & you become a pushover. But you're okay with that, because they're in your life and that's all you ever really wanted & even if they screw you over, you'll still be there for them. Because that's you, that's who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. That is why it's so hard for you to let them go.

He wrote that in the e-mail.

I am not a pushover.

I do fight for what I want.

selfish

I just have to say it once— you just have to hear it. I love you, Elena... and it's because I love you and... I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this— I don't deserve you. But my brother does... God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... but you do.

-Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries