familiarity?

It's happening again. You're always tired from your mind going a million miles a minute. All that really appeals to you is cowering under covers and sleeping off all your relentless, pointless efforts in trying to make everything better. You are disillusioned. Maybe you know that you can change things around, but you question whether you want to or not. Because being sad has some kind of comfort to you - because there's always that familiarity. No matter how long your sadness has been prolonged, it's known that when you revisit it, the same thoughts, feeling and actions all take place. You revisit the same place where you left off.

keep going on.

Everyone wants a sense of security. We just need one person to ask us how we’re feeling, how our day was, and if we have something to say; one simple question can relieve us of any burdens, from the day or something that has been constantly gnawing at us. One friendly question has such an impact on us. We look for hope in others and sometimes that’s what we need to keep us going. That’s what friends are for, right?

holding on & letting go; you know?

Sometimes, we tend to push people away simply because we’re scared that if they stay, we might get too attached leaving some doubts that they’ll leave us soon so what we do is, we decide for them. We push them away even before we get attached, trying to lessen the pain it might cause. We push people away to not seem so vulnerable. 

We push people away even if we know we want them to stay. 

But hey, the ones who wants to stay will stay even if you push them away.

being strong & never losing control

Everything is ending soon & I won't be seeing you again for some time (or at all).

If only you knew how much I am going to miss you when you're gone. 

You mean so much to me, and for the past year, I've tried my hardest in showing you what I feel. I know you tried understanding but I guess that's what kills me, knowing we'll never share the same feeling. I always seem to get my hopes up, but there is no use anymore, considering you are the only one I want. 

The source to my happiness, my only light in the dark has just burn out, leaving me to just blend in with the cold darkness. The tears are beginning to fall as I write this. They pierce my skin like a knife, revealing all of the hurt and emotion I've been holding inside for so long. 

I just don't know what I'm going to do without you here.

I don't know

if I like you or I just love having you around or that I like talking to you.
A part of me wants to hold in my feelings since I'm afraid of getting attached.
I get attached too easily and I don't want my feelings to further develop when I'm not even sure what this is.
What if we're not sure what we want?
What if I'm just exaggerating what I feel?
What if we're just doing this out of familiarity?
I hate this; it's too complicated.

I close my eyes... & Pray ♥

Its hard not talking to you.

Maybe it's the lack of communication we share, or the hardship of opening up that makes it difficult to talk to you sometimes.

I have all these things I want to tell you, but I can't seem to get my thoughts out through my mouth, as they are trapped inside my mind with a lock I've lost the key to.

I honestly think we would have a different outcome if I was able to tell you just half of the things I've been dying for you to know.

♥

2011

2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast.

It's the year your so called friend walks out of your life and it's the year you realised who the real ones are.

It's the year you felt the most pressure to the point where you gave up so many times but you're still learning how to get back up.

It's the year you said you were going to accomplish great things yet you feel like you just wasted time.

It's the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times.

It's the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing the people in them.

But it's also the year you move on slowly, and you realised that, it is okay.

if, & only if...

If I could tell you how I really felt, the world would be off of my shoulders.

If I could live all my days without the reminders, all my smiles would be real.

If I didn’t have to worry about the future instead of what is going on today,

I would probably be able to breathe.

Black is Back with Arthur’s Day 2011

Arthur Guinness, the man behind the one of the most successful beer brands worldwide.

Guinness is brewed in almost 50 countries and sells 1.8 billion pints yearly.

Guinness is probably the best damn drink invented for human kind!

To honor this great man, we will be celebrating Arthur’s Day this 23rd September!

Come on and join all of us on this worldwide celebration with Arthur’s Day!

It’s going to be the party of the YEAR!

TAIO CRUZ is performing the night itself, bringing us hits like ‘Break Your Heart’, ‘Dynamite’ & ‘Higher’.

Not only are we seeing Taio Cruz performing, they will also be featuring the local music act!

Prema Yin, Naked Breed, Rosevelt, Dragon Red, Jin Hackman (ft. CSBTEA) & James Baum will stand a chance to perform on the same stage as Taio Cruz, too.

The Malaysia’s Top 2 favourites will be chosen based on the votes online & on ground at various performance venue! So vote now for your favourite to open for Arthur’s Day. Vote HERE now!

Details of Arthur’s Day are as below,

Date: 23 September 2011 (Friday)

Time: 6 pm onwards

Venue: Speed City KL, Selangor Turf Club

(Location)

I'm so excited to see Taio Cruz perform in front of my eye!

Besides, this party is going to be an experience money never buy!

Be a part of this celebration, win yourself passes from Guinness Malaysia or Nuffnang!

Those passes are so exclusive you can only win them!

So people, start winning passes & I’ll see all of you there!

TO ARTHUR!!

farewell to you ♥

It's been a while since I actually wrote something like this, I don't remember writing any farewell note for anyone on my blog. Here's to you, Regina Tan, the girl I can always run to whenever there's any shit going on, she'll be the calmest and always trying to assure me things will be just fine.

I know Pahang is not far from Penang, and it's only an hour ride from KL but the fact that you are leaving away from this island to somewhere else to study, makes me feel like as though we are all growing up, leaving, one by one. That feeling makes me just want to stay young forever. I'm sure you are eager to start your uni life after the 9 months break.

Remember how we met? We used to be good friends in Standard 3 and then this "funny" dream I had of us kinda drifted us apart. Funny how after a year, we end up still being best friends. Fate, I guess. Having you as my (best) friend have always been an accomplishment to me. Twelve years, it's definitely an accomplishment to me, knowing me, I get tired/sick of people/things easily and after 12 damn years we are still as close as ever, I really thank God for that.

I know I wrote this on the card but thank you for being the great friend you are, I'm proud to be your friend. Thank you for always standing by me, especially through all the tantrums I've thrown to get things the way I want. Thank you for always making time for me even when you already have plans and fetching me, all the time. Thank you too for driving back my car after the accident, I'm sorry I haven't drove you out after that, I promise I will drive you next time ok? That's my promise to you! Anywhere you want, anytime (after 2012 that is) LOL!

Gina, take care there! Don't feel sad or lonely (though it might be unavoidable for the first few days), you have your iPad with you, look at all the funny pictures inside whenever you're down alright? Remember you'll always have us, always.

Wishing you all the best for the start of your uni life!

Will miss you.

xx ♥