Letter to You

Dear you,


I dreamt of you again, we were walking on the beach this time, splashing water at each other, we sat there and watched the sunset together. It was beautiful, we just continued sitting there looking at how the soft waves hit the shore until the wee hours, I slept on you and you woke me up to watch the sunrise, then we left. You fetched me home and kissed me, it was short but it was breathtaking.

The next thing I know, it was all just a dream. Just another dream of you & me, again. I asked myself why is it you again?

The thing is I love the way you smile, the way you are always so mysterious, and that grin that always spread across your face whenever you are with your friends, it melts me deep inside. I love the way you laugh and I love the way you make me smile without even trying. I love how you would always show me that smiley face in every text you send. I love how we can sit in silent and say absolutely nothing. I love how we are so different yet so alike. I love how you would always compromise with all my tantrums throwing session.

And I miss how we used to talk about pizza and I will always fight for the crust and I will always be your Pizza Crust Girl. I miss having you around to guide me through, I miss having you nagging me to study every time exams are around the corner, and I miss fighting with you over those little things. I miss pretending to be doing work but actually looking at you from far. I miss looking at you cycling away, I miss walking under the rain just to catch a glimpse of you. I miss how we would always stay up whole night talking about nothing.

If I were to be completely honest, you are still the first thought in my mind every morning and the last thought of every ending night. I know I should not be doing this but I guess I just miss you way too much and I don't know how to tell you anymore. It scares me every time you'd just disappear without saying a word, I don't want to lose you but deep inside I know you've been gone for a very long time and everything I do is just meaningless. Sometimes, I wish I knew what you think about every time you're quiet, I wish I could just tell you how much this is hurting me to see you sad. But I still believe, maybe one day, along the way, you'll think of me and you'll be smiling. Maybe one day, you'll remember.

Because only you have the capability to make me smile when I don't really want to, because you are the only star that can make my future brighter, because you're everything I know that makes me believe I'm not alone. Because you're still that first person that comes in my mind when I'm sad, happy, lonely, etc, because when I am with you, I feel safe. Because you’re still the perfect one.

I know I am not good with words and I am sorry this letter might not be as perfect as it is going to get. But, I just wanted to tell you that; I love you. I guess I always will, even knowing you could just walk away and never come back again, I still have to write it because that's the only way I can express all these mixed up thoughts.


I love you.

me
xoxo