Saturday, June 6, 2009

i am not me

People don't change; they just become more and more of themselves.

Here I am blogging instead of studying, again. Chained to the laptop, was playing Bejeweled for the whole hour, thanks to someone for getting me hooked up with it, blah blah blah, and mid term is not too long from now, like approximately two weeks? Two more Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays and it's mid term! My brain is often distracted, blocked away from remembering any words, sentences, paragraphs I read; wtf right. Anyway, it has been 6 months of college, how time flies.

A lot of things have been going on; personal & non-personal, right at the point when I thought my life just can't get any better, it came crashing down. Oh well, that's how life works, no? Learning to get used to it as much as I don't want to. Sometimes I wonder how nice would it be if I could just remain the happiness for a longer time, making it permanent, without really needing a reason to. You know? Like you feel happy, eventually, not because someone made your day, then again, not quite possible I guess. Everything has its backfire moments, including human.

June didn't start too well, I distanced myself. Confusion, misunderstandings, miscommunications, barriers of involvement. Maybe, it’s just my insecurities these days, it grew on me. I couldn’t go through a day not feeling paranoid too. Karma, karma, bad mouthing people bout their paranoia and insecurities; now it’s taking its toll on me.

Everyone make mistakes, and everyone is bound to get hurt.
Well said.

I pulled myself back together so no one knows.
I put a smile because I can. I laughed so you know.
I walked away, but to avail, I glided back unknowingly.
I am a confused person. I want to leave, but on the other hand, I don’t.
I don’t know what to do…

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