I am, in no way, admitting to dexterity and wisdom in relationships since I’ve had my fair share of retributions, jealousy over other girls and irrational outbursts. This list is based solely on what I think and according to what I observe in my present relationship and in others as well.
10. Take the bad and make it good. If it rains on a perfectly planned date, take off your stilettos and rubber shoes and get drenched. But if you’re too adamant to get too intimate with a harmless drizzles share an umbrella or a jacket and try avoiding puddles. If you’re out of money and out of luck in a once in a lifetime event, snuggle with your partner in a couch and go on movie marathons instead. Not only were you able to enjoy the supposedly ugly conditions, you were also able to weather together.
9. Be spontaneous. Show up at your special someone’s school/workplace without letting him/her know. Thrust a single-stemmed flower in front of him/her or treat him/her to dinner just because. There’s no need for a reason to surprise your loved one. Just don’t overdo it. Surprises tend to be routinary when done almost everyday. :)
8. When angry, sleep on it. Skip the cliche of never going to bed angry. It’s utterly and despicably false. As a female, I always had the innate urge to get things (i.e. issues) closed and packed up for a fresh start the next day. I want to cope with the whole problem today. Not tomorrow. Or the next day after that. But as I said, confronting problems at the exact same day when you’re stressed and raging with emotions always end up in a bigger fight and the anger ignited all the more. I should know.
7. Screw romance—a little. Whatever those paperback novels embedded in your mind aren’t always realistic. So let’s backtrack and stick to pragmatism. Never expect every single day with your special someone to be the same I-feel-butterflies-and-electricity-coursing-through-my-nerves-when-we-touch thing because it won’t. But don’t rule out romance. It’s vital but not as often. In my case, what I feel is security and happiness. On other days, when my beau is as sweet as my mom’s broken glass window dessert, I just feel like an eleven-year old swooning over her long-time crush. :)
6. Screw romance—a little. Part II. Although looking for that spark and intense combustion is inevitable (I hear ya ladies), the same feeling can be acquired when watching out for FUN in lieu of ROMANCE. Instead of fancy dinner dates and violins, have a water gun fight or a barbecue eating contest. Challenge each other in games you both adore (i.e. basketball, dota) and have pillow fights on the way. You’re not only keeping that “spark” alive, you’re also having fun without a dash of pretense at all.
5. Flair up those imperfections. Whether it’s my gap-tooth(which I hate) or my lisp(which I hate even more), my beau continues to adore me. Lesson? Whatever those flaws you think will discourage the apple of your eyes, try to act naturally confident with them. They may be imperfection in your eyes, but in your partner’s, they’re the quirky part of you s/he’ll never get over teasing you with. :) And we love a good tease don’t we?
4.Get your own social circle. Don’t let your world revolve around your loved one. It’s either you will scare her away because of your obsession (was that her hair under your pillow?) or because you choke him with your possessiveness (I need space! I need space! I need—-Arrrrrghhh!). The downward spiral will hit you so fast, you’ll only have time to bid adieu. Instead, bond with your friends (that s/he knows and trusts) without your special someone.
3. Do new things together. Go to dance classes or painting lessons. Learn how to cook or sew. Go skydiving or bungee jumping. Donate your time to charities or spend the afternoon cleaning some aged neighbor’s backyard. The point is, do it with your partner. The experience will not only thrill you, you can also spend the time getting to know each other. :)
2. Laugh like tomorrow is Armageddon. Nothing cures a sour day than a heavy bunch of laughter dipped with the glaze of humor and smiles. And nothing douses lovers’ quarrel than a good joke to stir up laughter. Laughing trips make the relationship stronger and more enjoyable. :)
1. Communicate. A lot. Whether you’re on a long-distance relationship or you’re close to each other (just like myself), the key is to communicate a lot. And don’t talk about the superficial stuff (i.e.our neighbor’s sister’s niece, your cousin’s mistress’ secretary)—although you can use some of them to determine a person’s personality and attitude—unless it directly affects the both of you. Talk about yourselves. Your dreams. Ambitions. Future goals. Motto. Your thoughts on love and relationships. If you can’t talk about these stuff now, then how can you talk about the more important issues in the future??
