Sunday, June 20, 2010

because this is what I am (no matter what you say or do)

I’m a girl.
I have feelings.
I overreact.
I underestimate.
I overestimate.
I over think everything.
I look too deep into everything’s meaning.
I dream big.
My expectations are high.
I can tell when I’m being lied to but sometimes I wish I didn’t.
Yes I get jealous, and I’m always scared I’ll lose you.
That’s why when I ask how you are I mean it.
When I ask how was your day, I genuinely want to know.
And when I say I love you, I’m not lying.

I’ve always avoided fights.
I make jokes instead.
I tell people what they want to hear in order to avoid a confrontation.
I pretend to want things I don’t want, and I pretend not to want things I do want.
No one gets hurt.
Except me.
The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don’t know what I want.
I just know I want it to be easy.

If whatever you do or say makes you happier.
Go ahead, I won't comment, I won't fight back.
I'm too tired or you can say I'm a loser, a coward, or/and a failure.