what is in the past, should stay in the past :)

I'm becoming the typical old me, again.
Why do I get so weak when it comes to you?
These scars will always remind me of you.


The day when we finally put an end to us.
That day, I observed the blood gushing out.
It was almost like the air rushing out from a punctured balloon.
It won't stop until it ran out of air, same goes to the blood.
I suddenly realised it's stupid, so I stopped.


A few weeks ago, I dreamt of you.
I couldn't sleep for the whole week.
Memories of us kept flooding my mind.
And the old habit came back.
I started it again.
I couldn't control myself.


Old habit just won't go away.
Damn it.


Why do you always have the ability to make me feel so weak?
I shouldn't feel this way. Not now, not ever.
Please, stop casting your spells on me.
I can't handle anymore of this.


I'm sorry.

birthday shoutout !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIFFANY !



it's her sweet sixteen :)


I know she have always wanted to be taller, so let's pray she grow taller :P
While she grow taller, I can grow too :D teehee.
Btw, somebody gave her a Spongebob plushie.
How sweet, hmmm ?
Gotta get her present too, $$ again :(
I am ... almost close to broke !



Damn !
I need to get a job.
Anybody?
*smiles sweetly*

Dreams

Dreams, I was reading Aaron's post on his dreams coming to reality last Saturday
And it hit me right that night -___-

No, nothing bad happened to anybody.
It's just embarrassing to have the exact same dream like the person you dreamt of.
What's worst, a bloody hot sexy wet dream.



muahahahha! wild, crazy sex ehh :p


After talking to him, we were having the exact same dream with all the same acts okay.
LOL, I won't go in detail what happened but honestly, it's just surprisingly weird.
How can two different human being which is so far apart from each other
have the exact same dream on the same time with the same person.

Goodness. I feel so berdosa now for having such a dream.
Although he was really hot in the dream *drools*
super duperly hot ! *dreams*


*i hope he's not reading this right now*



I'm obsessed with tea now.
Worst still, tea during school hours.
I feel so freaking sleepy after drinking tea.
Weird thing is, I feel super duperly awake when I drink tea at night.
Am I abnormal ? or is it perfectly normal ?


I'm not emo, I'm just miserably depressed.
Screw it.

I was gonna update today's post with the friends thingy but laziness kicked in.
My mood went dead after a while.
My playlist was shuffling & it stopped on that song.


.
.
.


From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you


.
.
.


This song brings back lots of memories.
Both good & bad...
It have been half a year since we turned you and me,
I remember you telling me it doesn't matter what happened in the past
What's happening now is what matters most :)



Life is amazing ever since you walked in my life.
When you walked away, my whole world turned upside down.
It took a while for me to get used to not having you anymore.
Well for now, I will learn to live without you.
To survive in this reality without having you to guide me through.
I will never forget all those moments when you were there to help me.

If you never came into my life, I won't be standing here
If only I could turn back time, I'd believe you with all my heart & soul
Maybe I'm just better off not knowing the truth.
Sometimes lies will always gonna sound sweeter than the truth.
No matter what hardship I face in the future,
I'll remember all the lessons you've taught me throughout the whole year :)
The midnight SMSes,
Those hugs & kisses,
The warmth you gave me,
The time when you waited near Mrs Chong's house so I can see you,
The time I walked all the way from Heng Ee to Japanese Garden when you told me you're dating another beautiful girl (violin),
The time when you actually offered to walk me home when I missed my bus,
All those promises,
All the 'i love yous', 'i miss yous', 'i need yous', '....forever'
You're always going to be a part of me.




EMO! -_____-




Damn it. I'm being very the EMO these few days.
I am irritated with myself.
My moodswings are getting worst.
Only he can tolerate with it -___-

School is pissing me off.
I like Maths, I like Add Maths.
Now, I can't focus in class during both these subjects at all.
Whenever she start teaching, I look at her like she's talking Danish or something like that.
I don't understand what she teaches at all.
I am depending fully on my Sir now.
Thank God I have private tuition for Add Maths.
Or not, I think I'll get an egg for all my papers :
Enough of rambling.
Need to run :)



Will update again soon, I PROMISE! :D



*sings*

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take, do you see how much i need you right now,
When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone, the face i came to know is missing too
When you're gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it OK
I miss you

We had a talk today.
How To Be An A Star Student
by Kumar Something Something

He was funny, that Kumar guy.
He looked like somebody who crawled out from the comic.
He kept showing the all funny acts.
Esp the part where he goes
"Put your hands up now! Now, pat your friends in your front, left & right
and say GOOOOOD MORNING A STAR STUDENT"
His gestures & movements were so indescribable.

I feel useful lately.
Finished the Horror & Fantasy House plan on last Thursday
Both parties agreed, and for now we gotta wait for the bamboo.
We need to raise fund agaaiiinnnn to pay for all the things we need to buy.
I went up to the hall just now, using the primary way.
It felt really eerie, like somebody is watching you.

Like there's a pair of eyes stalking you from far.

When I was walking up the stairs,
the wind was blowing me from behind & everything flew across.
The cupboard couldn't close & kept making that scary sound.
And when I'm in the SPBT Room,

the door banged & the steel door locked by itself.
The ceiling fan turned by itself even when the electricity was down.
It was pretty screwed -____-
Luckily I was there with somebody
or I would have cried like a baby & pee on my pants.

It rained heavily when school end today.
I walked under the rain.
Suddenly, memories came floating back to my brain.
All the under the rain moments with :)
*sighs*
I shouldn't be thinking of all these.

Grrr.
I'm sorry...
I dare not reply.
I couldn't bring myself to talk.
I feel bad for ignoring.
How I wished we could talk again, like normal.
It's hard to pretend I got over it.

kaulah segalanya,
yang menyinar hidupku, kasih
hanya satunya yang kucintai
sambutlah cintaku
jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
cintaku padamu ikhlas sejati

Here's another tag from SaeWei, my last tag :D muahahah I dont owe any tag to anybody now. lalalala ~

Ten things that I hate

1. Food you hate ;
I don't really like Thai food, they're all very spicy. Not that I can't eat spicy food, I don't like having spicy food all the time. Variety maaa :)

2. Fruits that you hate ;
I can't recall any fruit I hate currently :(

3. Veggies that you hate ;
I don't like every vegetable that's bitter. Count me out if you're a vege lover :

4. Celebrities or people that you hate ;
That boyfriend stealer whore! , Vanessa Hudgens and etc etc

5. Event/Incident/Situation that you hate ;
Being in a relationship with somebody who cheat behind my back with my best friend.

6. TV Shows or Movies that you hate ;
I don't like shows or movies where they have no ending -___-" pathetic and dumb.

7. Type of Music that you hate ;
I listen to every genre.

8. Household chore that you hate ;
Well, I never do chores, not once in my life. They don't trust me with chores :p

9. Things you hate about the world ;
Nuclear weapons, wars and having innocents killed for no reason.

10. Things that you hate about yourself ;
Brain & Body. I need to be wiser, smarter & curvier -___-

Not tagging anybody today.
Muahahha I'm feeling all nice today.

8 Weird Facts About me

Tagged by Sae Wei :) Ahh, I'm doing my tags tonight since I'm too busy to blog bout shits in school -__-"


8 Weird Facts About ADELENE TAN

1. Alcohol boost my energy. I am very energetic when I start drinking, but it only applies to Heineken & Vodka :)

2. I like collecting bikinis. Not that I wear them everyday, but I like collecting them.

3. I cry whenever I hear an overly happy/sad song.

4. I think gays are cute, certain gays. I don't discriminate gays! :)

5. I used to have an imaginary partner when I was standard 3.

6. I bite my nails in my dreams -____-

7. I am a sucker for guys who can play the piano. It might sound gay, but I've always prefered piano over guitar :)

8. I don't believe in ghost but I believe spirits are everywhere, around us.

I'm not gonna tag anybody.
Too lazy to tag anybody :p
walala

Tagged by Satkuru for the whole SHOUTOUT a week ago -___-"

LAYER 1 : ON THE OUTSIDE
Name : Adelene
Birth Date : November 6
Current Status : Single
Eye Colour : Brown
Hair Colour : DARK Black
Right or left : Right

LAYER 2 : ON THE INSIDE
My Heritage : Chinese?
My Fears : Clowns
My weaknesses : I'm soft hearted to certain people
My Perfect Pizza : Hawaiian Chicken or Aloha

LAYER 3 : YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
My thoughts first waking up : Did I sleep? o.O
My bedtime : Haven't been sleeping since Monday, usually around 2am - 3am
My most missed memory: Bedtime stories during kindy days :)

LAYER 4 : MY PICK
Pepsi or coke : Neither
Single or group dates : Single
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Tea or Nestea : Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla : Strawberry
Cappuccino or Coffee : Neither :(

LAYER 5 : DO YOU…
Smoke : Did. when I was young&dumb.
Curse : Yes.
Take a shower : Yes
Have a crush : Crush, infatuation? :)
Think you’ve been in love : Of course.
Go to school : Yup.
Want to get married : Yes
Believe in yourself : I am confident.
Think you’re a health freak : Not really. I get sick almost once every week, screw the weather.

LAYER 6 : IN THE PAST
Drank alcohol : Yes, still do
Gone to the mall : Definately.
Been on stage : Urm, yes
Eaten sushi : HAHA, YES :D
Dyed your hair : Highlighted:)

LAYER 7 : HAVE YOU EVER…
Played a stripping game : Strip POKER, yes
Changed who you were to fit in : Yes

LAYER 8 : AGE YOU’RE HOPING…
To be married : Anytime after 28.

LAYER 9 : IN A GUY/GIRL
Best eye colour : Blue :)
Best hair colour : dirty blonde with some brown :]
Short hair or long hair : Short, spikey:)

LAYER 10 : WHAT WERE YOU DOING…
A minute ago : Thinking of how to build my Plan
Hour ago : Stressing my brain with Add Maths
1 day ago : was harrassed by some buggers.
1 month ago : In & out of the house like a hotel
Year ago : was deeply in love

LAYER 11 : FINISH THE SENTENCES…
I love : him
I feel : obese
I hate : them
I hide : it from them :)
I miss : itu orang!
I need : extra cash.

LAYER 12 : TAG PEOPLE
Anyone who wants to do it

13th July, Friday

Went to school, after school, stayed In school.

Rachel drew henna for me on both my hand & my left leg :D

Didn't manage to take picture before the henna came off

it's so THUGism lol :D

After that, we went St. Nicholas.

Helped cut & sort addresses of every states.

It gets irritating when the aircond kept blowing my papers :(

After that, went back school & waited for somebody to fetch me home.

Reached home, took my bag & went for tuition straight.

After tuition came back, ate my dinner & showered.

Went for Accounts tuition again.

then, after tuition, sent my brother off to Genting :)

came home, shouted & sleep.

HECTIC DAY!

14th July, Saturday

hmmm, woke up at 11 something,

followed my parents to Balik Pulau eat hokkien mee & laksa :)

me in the car, scoping -____-

They dropped me in Gurney after a while

Went to meet him :)
saw the beautiful Mini Cooper there :)

Tempting, beautiful.

We watched Die Hard 4.0

He had to accompany me shopping! Haha :)
After a while, we went to eat our lunch in Fish & Co.

mine

his.

We went to walk around Gurney Drive

then he fetched me home :)

Reached home then have to accompany parents out for dinner again

Walala :D

Came back around 11 something

Lynn PPK me for Ryan!

No MOMO for me :(

15th July, Sunday

Woke up at 7 something

Went to eat somewhere in Pulau Tikus

I saw him walking pass! OMG

teeheee.

Came back home & online till God knows when.

Both brothers came home today from Genting

I saw all the food they bought *drools*

* * * * *

Ahhhh. I have alot to post about stuff.

Gosh, so many things happening these days.

Damn it.

Will blog bout it later, if I have time.

Toodles people :)

Just came back from gym :(
I'm tired as hell
Sir cancelled my tuition today cause he's still not feeling well
Blargh, Regina is not coming to tuition later.
I'm dead, I'm gonna be all alone :(
I hate being alone !
Ah, I need B :(

Open Day is today, school was filled with cars.
Cars, many of it. So packed okay.
Lucky my mother came yesterday and took my results.
It was horrible, never in my life have I got such low average before :(
Teacher told mummy, "She always fly to US and never come back. I have to pull her then only she can come back."
LOL. Do you understand her?
Hahaha, she was trying to tell my mother I never focus in class.
Something as simple as that can sound so complicated too at times *shakes head*
My dad was furious when he saw my results -___-
But he was too busy watching football, so he didn't say much.

I guess it's time for me to do something.
Gotta cut my time going out, day and night.
Gotta cut coming online so much
Gotta start taking books back to revise
Gotta read more BM novels -____- [i suck in it]

*sings* kasihku, sampai di sini, kisah kita, jangan tangisi keadaannya, bukan kerana kita berbeda, dengarkan, dengarkan lagu ini, melodi rintihan hati ini, kisah kita berakhir di ... Januari.....





PS ; [I still miss you... a lot. I'm sorry this have to happen again.]